Say My Name

The family name hits the streets

The SJG was a shy girl, growing up in a humble little town called Westwood.  I was never one to crave attention, unlike now, when I'll take whatever attention I can get.  In elementary school, when the teacher called roll and said, "Carol Starr?" I whispered, "Here." Starr sounded like such a boastful, look-at-me name. "That's right, I'm a Starr.  What's it to ya?"  I didn't have the confidence to match my last name.  To be a Starr, I needed to feel like a Starr, and act like one.  I needed to get up out of my chair and grab the microphone.  Sing and dance.  Bring it.  When people asked if Ringo Starr was my father/brother/uncle, I wanted to say, "Hell yes, and he's leaving me all his money."  Instead, I giggled.  Hee hee.  That's funny.  Never heard that one before.
At UCLA, the more mature, coming-out-of-my-shell SJG entered into a serious reporter stage, writing for the Daily Bruin.  I went from Beatle knock-off to Brenda Starr.  This suited me better.  I was more comfortable as a cartoon character than a drummer from Liverpool. 

Full disclosure:  The thing is, my last name isn't really Starr.  Well, it is, but it isn't.  It's a truncated version of a long Russian name:  Starratiefsky.  When my grandparents arrived at Ellis Island, the judge said the name was too long, and shortened it to Starr.  By the time I got married, I loved the boldness of Starr so much, I couldn't let it go.  Carol Starratiefsky Schneider would've been too long a byline.  Carol Starr Schneider?  Just right.  To this day, I love my maiden name so much that whenever I see Starr somewhere, it feels like a personal shout-out. 

You can only imagine the thrill I experienced when I started reading Alice Hoffman's new book, "The Red Garden," which traces the history of a small town in the Berkshires.  One of the founding families:  The Starrs!  Even better, last night I went to hear her speak, and when they turned it over for questions, up went my hand.  "This is totally self-serving, but I'm wondering why you chose the name Starr?  It's my last name, and it's not that common." Alice Hoffman smiled at me, patiently.  Actually, Starr was a fairly common name in colonial times and that's why she used it.  "Well, I just wanted to thank you for using it.  I get such a kick out of seeing my name in your book."  Whereupon, I got up on stage and performed a truncated version of my night club act, "The Bitch is Back."  When security carted me off and asked my name, I've never been prouder.  "I'm the SJG.  What's it to ya?"