Friday, December 23, 2016

Don't Let The Red Nose Fool You

"And the best part is, I'm Jewish."
Dear SJG,
I have a friend who has money coming out of her tush. As far as I know, it's not a medical condition.  Every Christmas, she gives me an insanely expensive gift. Last year, she gave me a deer named Rudolph. For 365 days, Rudolph has followed me around, destroyed furniture, and eaten all the good bagels. Sure, he's cute, with his red nose and spunky demeanor, but it's enough already. I've had it with him. Plus, he doesn't get along well with our new dog, Sir Blakey. Will I rot in hell if I send Rudolph packing?
Done with the Deer

Dear Done,
Don't look a gift deer in the mouth.
You're welcome,

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