It's The Yeast I Can Do

An early morning text from my childhood friend Nonie. Good thing I'm already up at 6:06 a.m. "Hi, any good recipe ideas for matzoh ball soup? I have never made it.... Happy Passover."  I text back: "The best recipe for matzoh ball soup is to ask my mother-in-law to make it."  

A Jew took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park. He sat down on a bench and began eating. Shortly thereafter a blind man came by and sat down next to him. Feeling neighborly, the Jew offered a sheet of matzoh to the blind man. The blind man ran his fingers over the matzoh for a minute, and exclaimed, "Who wrote this?!"

A cranky man named Herbert sits at the Passover seder table. He speaks: "Why do I hafta sit at the kids' table? This stinks!! This really stinks!!" Moral:  No seder would be complete without the bitter Herb.
http://kosher4passover.com/jokes.htm

High Praise

As I luxuriated on the sofa on a Sunday afternoon, milking my exhaustion, enjoying the aftermath of a wonderful opening night, trying not to obsess over ticket sales for the next five Saturdays... ding dong, in walked my brother-in-law.
"Hey, congratulations on last night."
"Thanks, honey."
"I'm really sorry I fell asleep during the show."
"What?!"
"I couldn't keep my eyes open."
"Dan, I could've lived my entire life not knowing this."
"Mom and Marion said it was really funny."
"That's nice."
"I was up so early, and then I had to schlep over the hill to get them, and I didn't really sleep the night before, so when I sat down -- "
"No more. I'm begging you."
"The parts I saw were good."
"I'll be upstairs if anyone needs me."

Scenes From An Opening

This man right here, this total mensch, our fearless director/exec producer Kevin Bailey, sets up for last night's sold out premiere of Brushes: A Comedy of Hairs.

To sit there in the audience with Cathy Hamilton, my cohort in hair, and see our dream finally come true, after six very long years, filled me with such glee, I may never recover. To sit there in the audience surrounded by family and dear friends, was a major bibbidi-boppidi boost I'll treasure forever. And now, we get to do it all over again, five more Saturday nights.

A huge shout out to our spectacular cast: Ashley Taylor, Heidi Appe, Clara Rodriguez, Amy Smallman-Winstonand & Andrew Villarreal 

A Brush With Tech Week

Wait, what the heck's happening here? Why don't I tell you, or at least drop a few hints? Okay, I will. Amy Smallman-Winston, Heidi Appe, Ashley Taylor and Andrew Villarreal are rehearsing "A Brush With Conspiracy." That's all you're getting out of me. 

And what about here, pray tell? Calm down, I'll tell you. Heidi Appe is perfecting her stint as a medieval town crier in "A Brush With Royalty." To find out more, you'll just have to pop down to the Whitefire Theatre in fabulous Sherman Oaks on a Saturday night (March 30 - May 4th) and see... cue the self-promoting trumpets please, I've got no time for subtlety... Brushes: A Comedy of Hairs. 

Decorating Tips

Now and then, my mother-in-law Char, the decorator, comes up with something so poignant and universal, the kind of advice that can apply to any and all situations, that it would be horribly selfish not to share it with you. During Sunday's drop-by for coffee and danish, we studied the Bloomie's home catalog, admiring the crazy-expensive comforters. In the other room, hubby and his father admired the crazy-expensive antiques for sale on some auction site. Back in the kitchen, Char declared many catalog items "stunning." Stunning is one of her favorite words.  If something is stunning, chances are, it's also crazy-expensive. At some point, I took her coffee cup hostage and said she couldn't have it back till she found a way to update our bedroom, which needs refreshing. So we went upstairs, with Blakey at our heels, and moments later, she stood in the middle of the room, ready to pass judgment. Of course, the fact that she'd picked out the fabric for the nice pillows and the love seat, and helped select the color on the walls, oh-so-many years ago, seemed beside the point. She lives to reinvent a room and here was her big chance. For a minute, she said nothing. She was taking her time, gathering her thoughts. And then, finally, out came this gem, worthy of a bumper sticker, a billboard on Sunset, a neon sign: "Start with something wonderful," she said, whereupon I gave her a big hug. If that isn't the best advice ever, I don't know what is, do you? Start with something wonderful and go from there. Start with something less-than-wonderful and prepare for disappointment and heartache. "You're a genius," I said, even though she has yet to figure out the wonderful component that will change the look of the room. But she will. I just have to give her time and she'll get there. She always does.

If You Build It...

Sir Blakey, the Royal Rescue Pup of Questionable Lineage, once again ponders the daily racket across the yard. Pray tell, Sir Blakey, what the @#$% is the source of this ongoing noise factory that commands your attention and inspires you to bark, incessantly?

Oh. Of course. This. A rival palatial estate rising skyward.

Sir Blakey, might you explain the current philosophy in real estate? No? Fine. Allow me to do so on your behalf: "If you build it, starting as early in the a.m. as legally allowed; if you get that mutha up in three weeks, maybe four, then finish the interior as quickly as the building inspectors will allow; if, by some miracle, it's ready in under three months, they will schlep to see it, the prospective buyers; they will ooh and awe at the spacious luxury; they will ignore the proximity to neighbors on all sides; they will shrug at the absence of anything resembling a backyard; they will empty their pockets, their their life savings, their future inheritances; they will come in record time, move in, become house poor, and worst of all, invade the holy sacred space of the SJG." Well said, Sir Blakey. Alas, what does the longtime hubby think of this non-stop encroachment on his dog's sanity? "Yeah, they're building something, Blakey. Stop barking and deal with it." Soothing words from his master on a Saturday morn.

She's Almost Here!

Last summer, before our reading of "Brushes" at Theatre West,

when Cathy Hamilton & your loyal SJG were so much younger

Well, as far as I'm concerned, she can't get here soon enough, the one, the only Cathy Hamilton, co-playwright of, what else, Brushes: A Comedy of Hairs. On Tuesday, she's jetting in from Kansas with her hubby in tow, to join in something the theatre folks call Tech Week. I've never been through it before, what with the lighting and the sound, the dress rehearsals, the general chaos that leads up to a world premiere type-situation, but with Cathy here, I can get through anything.

Hey Daddy, look who made it to Broadway:
https://www.broadwayworld.com/los-angeles/article/BRUSHES-A-COMEDY-OF-HAIRS-to-Receive-World-Premiere-At-Whitefire-Theatre-20190322 fbclid=IwAR2G26_NaLUgu4jWXACcF1H4Vz-wIhhfYGPNlhp7sbHkadzNQWMoAaqFXRk