And The Winner Is: Not You!

I'm not sure why I take such sick pleasure in predicting who gets the boot on "Idol." On Thursday, I called three out of four.  I kept shouting downstairs to hubby, who's already burned out on the show, "I got another one right!"  Hubby had trouble rising to my level of glee. A low-key "good for you" was about all he could muster on my behalf.  In my tiny universe of me-me-me, it's just so much fun to be right.
 More than fun.  It's empowering!  Who knows, maybe I'm just gearing up for the annual Academy Award's scream-fest at Cousin Andy's.  Every year, we gather, we predict winners and whoever gets the most right, wins MONEY from a pool that costs ten bucks a pop.  Once we hit the toughies -- documentary, editing, sound effects, makeup -- the atmosphere thickens, tempers flare.  It turns nasty.  One year, there was a brawl in the den.  There was bloodshed.  Let's just say my invite was temporarily revoked. 

As the lone Idol-loonie in my house, I can only brawl with myself as I pick losers on "A.I."  But it feels so good to score now and then, that I'm going to go out on a limb and predict some Oscar winners for y'all.  Just the biggies, of course.  I tend to blow it over best art direction, foreign language and costume design.  I'm not a fan of multiple choice.  I change my mind.  I forget to go with my gut.  This explains why I totally sucked at the SAT's. 

The following picks reflect who I think will win, not who should win.  If it were up to me, all the swag, all the Oscars, all the glamourous gowns and jewelry, would go to... the short Jewish gal.  I've got quite a few witty speeches leftover from various award ceremonies I've attended.  I think that sparkly dress from the '90s might still fit, with the help of some Spanx.  Yes, way (waaay) back when, I was heavily nominated for this and that golden trophy.  Yes, I had my shot at fame and statuettes.  Head in the clouds, I flew to NYC to pick up an award.  Instead, I watched someone else win Best Freakin' Afterschool Special of All Time.  Bummed me out, I admit.  So I'm ready to get up on stage, people.  When's it going to be my time to shine? 

What?!  This isn't about me?  Oh.  Sorry.  I got a little carried away with my past glory.  Fine.  Here are my damn predictions:

Picture:  "Avatar."  Director:  Kathryn Bigelow.  Actor: Jeff Bridges.  Actress:  Sandra Bullock.  Supporting Actor:  Christoph Waitz.  Supporting Actress:  Mo'Nique.  Screenplay:  "Inglorious Basterds."  Adapted Screenplay:  "Up in the Air."  Animated Feature:  "Up."