Short Jewish Gal Grows Five Inches Overnight!

Much  like the movie "Big," I went down to the carnival last night and asked Zoltar, not to be big, because that could've backfired and expanded the SJG width-wise, and we wouldn't want that.  My wish was to be taller.  "Just once," I told Zoltar, "I'd like to wake up with long, luxurious legs.  Just once, I'd like someone to say, 'Holy sh*t!  There goes a tall drink of water.'  Just once, I'd like to buy a pair of jeans that doesn't need shortening.  Just once, I'd like to tower over someone other than a five year old.  Make me taller, Zoltar!  Please, oh, please!"  Well, my bleeps, my blog-loving peeps, Zoltar spit out a card that said, "Your wish has been granted," and sure enough, this morning, presto-change-o, this little bitch woke up looking like a Glamazonian Goddess!  You heard me. The Short Jewish Gal needs a name change.  I'm now the Not-That-Short Jewish Gal.  I'm 5'6" and-a-half!  Correction.  Make that 5'7."  I'm growing as I write this!  If my wish keeps working, tomorrow, I may wake up looking like this gal:

Wouldn't that be something!  Let me think about it.  Why yes, it would be something freakatosis, not to mention, 100 percent miraculous!