Drive, He Said

The local traffic report calls it Holiday Light, as in very few cars on the road. But hubby, a former valet parking attendant (and proud of it), views it a little differently. Any cars on the road, one or two even, are too many, because chances are, those drivers will be automotively challenged. If only people could follow hubby's revolutionary road rules, he'd be a happier driver. I think. His revolutionary road rules are pretty simple, too: Just drive your eff'n car. That's all. Just drive. Your eff'n. Car. And so, on the 4th of July, he exercised his right as an American to drive maybe a tad too independently. "Honey," I said, gently and supportively, "I think maybe you're driving a little fast." To which he replied, "It's a car. I'm driving it."