Requesting Quiet

Two words:  Shut up! 

Butterfly Girl Be Gone!

                        Ba-bye, Quirky Girl! Scream on, elsewhere!

Kina hora:  A magical phrase to ward off the evil eye or to show one's praises are genuine and not tainted by envy.   Example:  "I haven't had a cold/parking ticket/jury duty summons in five years, kina hora."  Without the kina hora, trust me, you'll have that cold/parking ticket/jury duty summons by mid-day, tomorrow.  Kina hora is one of the few universal laws I believe in, completely. 

Man! I Feel Like Shania!

"Twangy."  "Lose the robe."  "Sassy!"  "Yo!"  So said the judges regarding my living room performance of "Man!  I Feel Like A Woman."  Next week, I'll rethink the outfit. Tuesday night, the remaining sixers worked their inner Shania nicely, with the dudes channeling the country-pop goddess more effectively, I thought, than the ladies.  Shania proved an excellent mentor, instructing them to, "interpret the songs as if you wrote them."  Well said!

Woman Gives Birth to Labrador

Rest, you've had a long day 

No question, this was my easiest pregnancy. There was no morning sickness. No heartburn. No weight gain. No elastic waist bands or built-in pouches to conceal my bulging belly.  And talk about an easy labor. No contractions.  No cries of “Get this thing outta me now!” No need for an epidural.  All hubby and I had to do was throw wads of money at a strange woman with lipstick-stained teeth, and the bundle of joy landed right in my lap.

My, People Come & Go So Quickly Here

Growing up, my favorite Americal Idol was Dorothy Gale of Kansas.  I wanted to be her. I wanted her hair, her ruby slippers and her little dog Toto. I wanted to dance with the Scarecrow and comfort the Cowardly Lion.  I admired Dorothy's courage and chutzpah and the ballsy way she handled that Wicked Witch of the West. The fact that Dorothy took her down with a bucket of water gave me hope.  It gave me reason to believe that maybe, if you met your fears head on, just like Dorothy did, if you didn’t back down, you just might melt a few demons of your own some day.

To Be Or Not To Be Mel Brooks

                                                About time!

Mel Brooks, comedian, actor and producer who gave the world "Blazing Saddles," "Young Frankenstein" and "The Producers," not to mention "Spaceballs," a personal fav, finally got a star Friday on the Hollywood Walk of Fame -- the 2,406th star, in case anyone's counting -- during a nice ceremony in front of the Egyptian Theatre. His son, Max, and best friend, Carl Reiner, attended.  A mere lad of  83, Brooks has won Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony awards, and is working on a musical version of "Blazing Saddles."  Mazel tov.  Here's the hilarious "Hitler Rap," promoting "To Be Or Not To Be," a great movie you should rent and enjoy, immediately, if not sooner.

Ten Things I Won't Be Doing This Weekend

Keep away, he's mine

1. Touring tattoo parlors with Michelle "Bombshell" McGee
2. Studying Kate Gosselin's Best Dance Moves
3. Letting Stacy London of "What Not to Wear" into my closet
4. Feuding with Lindsay Lohan, Michael Lohan, any Lohan
5. Visiting Jesse James in rehab
6. Shopping on Melrose with Lady Gaga
7. Shaving off Brad Pitt's scraggly beard
8. Stalking Matthew Fox, due to restraining order
9. Teaching Heather Locklear how to drive
10. Parading the 'hood in that Dior gown Jen Aniston loaned me