Man! I Feel Like Shania!

"Twangy."  "Lose the robe."  "Sassy!"  "Yo!"  So said the judges regarding my living room performance of "Man!  I Feel Like A Woman."  Next week, I'll rethink the outfit. Tuesday night, the remaining sixers worked their inner Shania nicely, with the dudes channeling the country-pop goddess more effectively, I thought, than the ladies.  Shania proved an excellent mentor, instructing them to, "interpret the songs as if you wrote them."  Well said!


1. Lee, "You're Still The One":  Nice work. Lee D dug deep.  A bit strained at times, but still, well-received by all.  Randy noted, "It was a little pitchy, but you made it your own.  Pretty good."  I side with Randy.  Ellen told Lee he couldn't look cuter and loved how he makes every song his own.  Kara said, "Look how far you've come."  Simon found it the perfect song, and then Kara interrupted him. How annoying she can be!
2.  Big Mike, "It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing":  Big Mike brought out his Luther Vandross and moved Shania to tears.  This is my personal fav for the (former?) personal trainer.  Randy called it great and "in the zone."  Ellen made the Luther comparison.  She must've heard me say it first.  I did!  I have witnesses.  Kara said, "Great job."  Leave it to Simon to veer off and call the performance "wet" and overly theatrical.  A tearful Shania told us, "He got me."  Me, too, Shania, and I haven't been "feeling" Big Mike lately, figuratively speaking, doncha now.



3.  Casey, "Don't":  Clearly, the Hotness has been reading my blog.  He lost the ponytail, people.  Yes, that's the sort of influence I have on him.  Simply put, he was freakin' wonderful.  They all saw it.  "Best ever!" said Randy.  Ellen, Kara and Simon agreed.  "Last week was a wake up call," Simon said, and told Casey to go give Shania a big kiss.  Had I been in the audience, I might've barged in and stolen the smack-a-roo, which I believe I deserve, for the ponytail intervention. 



4.  Crystal, "No One Needs to Know":  Crystal sang directly to her boyfriend, in hopes that one day, "he'll man up" and marry her.  She was lovely, playful and understated in her bluegrassity, but the judges dismissed it and she didn't take it gracefully.  "Bigger isn't always better," she said, opening herself to all sorts of potential puns.  "Not my favorite," said Randy, Ellen and Kara.  Simon pointed out, "We don't like Crystal this week." 
5.  Aaron, "You've Got A Way":  Now 17, Aaron sang with depth and emotion, in the words of Ellen, and it was sweet and fine, until Kara pointed out he'd omitted the line about making love, and then it turned muy awwwk-wardo.  "I was singing it to my mom."  Oy vey.  TMI!!! TMI!!!  That confession could land the boy at the bottom yet again. 
6.  Siobhan, "Any Man of Mine":  The overstyled one toned it down a bit, except for the odd harness-like contraption strapping in her chest.  Whateva!  She went sassy and showed some attitude, but the SJG found it a little shrill.  A little?  Okay, a lot.  Randy loved it, Ellen said the glass blower "pulled the Shania Twain into the station," Kara declared, "Guess who's back!" and Simon called it the perfect song choice, but could've done without the screaming. 

Now that Tim Urban has left the building, those snarky folks at votefortheworst.com, who credit themselves for keeping the Cuteness on the show for nine weeks, have elected Siobhan the chosen one.  And they have the power and web cred to get it done.  So, this week, I'm pulling a reverse kina hora maneuver.  I won't predict her ouster and maybe the opposite will happen.  Bottom Two:  Aaron and, oh man, this pains me and I hope I'm wrong, Crystal, for her attitude and unflattering attire.  Going home: Aaron