Teenage Mutant Ninja Mother

Despite my best efforts, my sons are fully grown.  I've done everything in my power to turn back time and keep them little boys.  I've offered to read them bedtime stories, sing them lullabies, and rock them to sleep. I've offered to quiz them on their spelling words, teach them how to tie their shoes and zip their jeans.   I've offered to comb their hair, brush their teeth and wipe their tushies.  I've offered them juice boxes, Teddy Grahams and Ritz Bitz.  I've coddled, smothered and enabled.  I've scolded, whined and threatened.  Nothing seems to be working.  Not a single thing.  They just keep getting older, smarter, wiser and funnier.   It's time to face reality.  Time to return the Where's Waldo sheets, the Winnie the Pooh backpacks, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Velcro sneakers, the Pokemon trading cards, the Power Rangers swords, the WWF wrestling action figures.   My sons are fully grown.  My work here is done.