Superman Vs. The Hulk In Gelson's

You never know when something you read in AARP magazine might just come in handy. You might wind up dispensing important life-saving medical advice: "Step away from that toxic sugar cookie, it could kill you!" Or in my case you might find yourself embroiled in a heated debate over who's a better superhero: Superman or The Hulk? Normally, I'd have bupkis to say about this topic. Bupkis, I tell ya. But thanks to an AARP article a few years back ("Superman: The High-Flying History of America's Most Enduring Hero"), I landed in a spirited discussion in the coffee aisle of, where else, Gelson's.

The manager, the stock clerk and a nice nebbishy customer were going back and forth over the superpowers of the afore-mentioned comic book/TV/film superheroes, who've been reinvented 82 times at last count, and I just had to intervene. I had to. It's what I do. "Wow," I said, "you guys are really into this thing, aren't you?" "Afraid so," said the manager. "Well, not to generalize too much, but I don't think I've ever heard three women debating Superman vs. the Hulk." "Oh, I think you're wrong," said the customer. "Lots of women have opinions on this. Have you ever been to Comic-Con?" "No, thank God." "If you had to pick, would it be Superman or The Hulk?" he asked. I didn't even hesitate. "Superman, of course. He's Jewish." The customer gave me a fist bump, something I've never received in Gelson's or anywhere else for that matter. "Exactly." The manager grinned. "How do you know?" "I read it in AARP magazine."