SJG Tosses Bagel Hat Into Ring

(Sherman Oaks) The Short Jewish Gal, blogger of some repute, mostly of her own making, called an early morning press conference in, where else, her kitchen, on Super Tuesday, no less, to make a very important announcement, but only after offering the small gathering a little something to eat so they shouldn't go hungry. "So," she began, "look, let me tell you what's on my keppy." "Hurry up," said a reporter from the Daily Kvetch, with a mouthful of ruggelach yet. "I still haven't voted." "Be patient, you, and by the way, where'd you learn your etiquette, off a box of stale matzoh?" "Sorry." "You should be. Okay, so here's my plan. I'd like to announce that I'm tossing my bagel hat into the ring." "Where's the hat?" "Yeah, I only see flat, lifeless hair." "Pay attention, you schmohawks, I'm speaking metaphorically." "SJG, are you saying what I think you're saying?" a lovely pregnant French gal asked from her comfy spot on the sofa. "Yes, I am." "You wanna share it with the rest of us? Also, where's the good lox?" "No good lox, no bad lox, no Goldilocks. I'm on a budget here." "Wrap it up, already, we have a zillion voting places to cover today." "Okay, okay, hang onto your gatkes, I'm getting there. I'd like to declare that I'm officially running for Grandma. Why? I'll tell you why. Because I'm overqualified for this position. I've been in training all my life. I'm ready." "You'll have to wait till mid-May to claim your title," the expectant mom called out." "I'm good with that. No rush, take your time." "SJG, do you validate parking?" "What's wrong with you people? Can I get a mazel tov?" "Can I get this kugel to go?" "Get out, you schnorrers. Out."