Let's Go To Prom

Prom?

In ancient times, a dude would turn to a dudette, and ask, "Wanna go to prom, baby?"  She'd either say, "Hell, yes!" or, "Get out of my face!"  In the case of the SJG, future hubby -- we go back aways -- asked me, I said yes, and off I went to find a gown.  My mom took me to Robinson's or maybe Bullocks and we picked out a boring floral dress, long and slightly hippy-ish, with zero sex appeal.  It was the mid-70s.  One of a kind, it wasn't.  I spotted the same dress on someone else, two seconds in the door.  Oh, the horror.  Hubby rented a brown tuxedo.  The rest of the evening remains a total blur.  No limos, no hotel suites, no drunken after-parties.  The high point for me was breakfast at Ship's the next morning, where we saw another prom couple, Danny and Leslie, sharing eggs and bacon.  We all felt so grown up, so done with high school. 

These days, asking someone to the prom requires a laser light show, a marching band, skywriting.  It's out of control, people.  Not to be a buzzkill, but the extremes that prom-askers must go to is, quite frankly, ridunculous. In a wild romantic gesture, the son of one of my closest friends filled the family pool with zillions of tiny lit candles before popping the prom request to his girlfriend.  She went into shock, toppled into the fountain of fire and singed off all her hair.  "I'd love to go," she said, as the ambulance took her away.  Last week, another son of another dear friend surprised his intended at school.  With a microphone in hand, video crew and two roving guitarists, he sang, "Let's Go to Prom" to the tune of "Let's Get It On."  Originally, he'd planned to stand on the roof of the main building and serenade her, but the likelihood of suspension, coupled with "guess who's not going to prom now?" prompted a last-minute location change... to the school blood drive.  The poor girl was hooked up at the time, donating a pint of Type A.  She blacked out, mid-song, and they had to give her back all her own blood, and thensome.  (Disclaimer:  I may be exaggerating slightly.  I do that sometimes, just to keep y'all on your toes.)  Saturday night, the youngest plans to ask his gal to the prom.  How?  Stay tuned.  Sorry.  No spoiler alerts.