But They Made Such A Nice Couple

"It's over. I broke up with him," Bristol Palin told the SJG exclusively, over the phone.
"You dumped the baby-daddy?"
"I sent his ass packing."
"Good girl.  You deserve better.  A nice Jewish boy would never treat you like Levi did."
"Do you know any?"
"I've got two living under my roof.  Three if you count hubby."
"I'm listening."

"The 18 year old?  He's taken.  But the other one, he's available.  He's 22 and adorable.  A big hit with the ladies, or so he tells me.  I've yet to meet any of them.  They're located all over the world.  At the moment, he's single.  If I were you, I'd grab him."
"Keep talking.  What's he do?"
"He stays up late, and sleeps till noon.  But once he's awake, he's fabulous."
"I mean, job-wise.  Is he employed?"
"Technically speaking, no.  But I'm sure he will be, one day.  He's looking for the right opportunity."
"Does he hunt?"
"Uh, no."
On the other end, silence. 
"But he's a fast learner."
"I admit, I'm intrigued.  But I'm not sure they allow Jews in Alaska."
"Sure they do.  We're everywhere.  In all 50 states."
"Guam, too?"
"As far as I know."
"Let me ask Mom and I'll get back to you."
"I won't hold my breath."