You're Not Invited

What is it with my neighbors trying to bribe me with candy?  Do I project "chocoholic tendencies" as I back out of the driveway?  Maybe if I walked out normally, facing the street, as opposed to tush first, the neighbors wouldn't draw their own conclusions:  "Give her chocolate and she won't call the cops on us." What am I talking about?  I'm so glad you asked.  Another alarming note from a neighbor arrived with candy attached.  It went something like this:  "Hi, neighbor.  We're having a big loud annoying party tonight.  It's going to be so freaking, eardrum-busting loud you won't be able to sleep. We plan to rage non-stop in celebration of our son's one-year wedding anniversary. We haven't invited his wife. We're not very fond of her, so please, keep this between us. Even though you're not invited -- we've heard about your dance moves and would like to keep this party G-rated -- we're hoping you'll accept this tiny bag of candy -- we're only giving you four pieces, you don't need any more -- and not report us to the police for disrupting your precious evening. Thanks so much, your neighbors next door."