Ba-Bye, Summer!

Dear SJG,
Apparently summer is kaput. I turn to you, O kvetchy one, with a question of enormous import. Where the hell did summer go and how can I get it back?
Thank you,
Summarily Bummed

Dear Summarily Bummed,
Technically speaking, you asked two questions rolled into one, which is very sneaky of you, not to mention rude, especially this early in the a.m. To pose two questions in one is to drain the SJG brain of its awesomeness, but fine, whatever, I'll allow it. Why? I'll tell you why. Because I'm a giver. Let me address the first part of your dual question. Where the hell did summer go? Summer went ba-bye, while you were semi-busy living your humdrum life. God willing your A/C was working. How can you get summer back? You can't. You must wait impatiently till summer rolls around next June, and in the meantime, dwell on the things you can control, like the volume on the TV and the color of your nail polish.
You're Welcome,
The SJG