Not That Story Again

You know the feeling. You're on the phone. You're having coffee with a friend. You're out to lunch. And then it hits you, a dejavu-ish-I've-said-it-before moment. You've already told your friend this story and that story, but the nice friend you're inhumanely boring to death is too much of a mensch to say, "Oh, dear God, if you tell me that story again, I will lose it." Relax. Now there's a way to stop you from spiraling into the same deadly details no one wants to hear, with the SJG's YouSaidIt, a stylish electro-shock watch that will zetz you every time you re-launch into an anesthetizing anecdote. Extra features include BoreTrackPlus for multi-monotony tracking. Automatically monitor how many times you've told that same story with instant text and calendar notifications and humiliating emoji faces. Customize with a variety of zetzes -- Strong, Extra Strong and Emergency Room. It's everything you need to salvage what's left of your social life. Retail: $79.95. Friends and family: $69.93.