Thursday, March 26, 2015
Allison and Andy, Billy and Emily...
and the crutches in the background
This happy photo of my cousin Andy and his gorgeous wife Allison, about to dine in San Francisco with the eldest son Billy and his gorgeous girlfriend Emily, arrived on my Oy-Phone last night and made me smile and kvell and all that... until I noticed the crutches in the background, leaning against the wall. The SJG Brain immediately cranked into uh-oh mode. Clearly, one of my people had been seriously injured. One of my people, including Andy's two out of three children on this trip but not in the photo, had tripped and sprained, broken and done damage to a limb, requiring an emergency room visit, crutches and possibly months of physical therapy. Suddenly, this seemingly happy photo seemed like a cruel way to clue the SJG into the situation.
"Who's got the crutches?" I asked, casually, like an after-thought. As in, by the way, who got hurt and ruined the trip? Andy texted a series of untruths, followed by "JK. Don't panic." JK? Who's JK? Was there another family member I didn't know about? I thought I was up to date on the family tree. I don't know from JK. Then it hit me. JK = Just Kidding. Oh. Hahahaha. "Do you know me at all, Cuzzie?" I asked. Andy texted, "They belong to the people behind us we don't know." "Well, tell them I'm worried, anyway."
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider at 7:55 AM
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
So yesterday, I was in the Gelson's parking lot, where else would I be, putting my recyclable earth-friendly super cool billboard grocery bags in the trunk of my car, when I noticed a woman standing off to the side, staring at me. I shut the trunk and she stepped closer. My mind started to race. I looked at her. She looked at me, and said, in a very thick Spanish accent: "I-take-it." I said nothing. She said it again: "I-take-it." I smiled, stupidly. It's not often you're faced with such a run-on sentence. I started to move my cart. She took a step closer, and said, slower this time, "I... take... it."
Ah, a moment of clarity. Don't you love those? She wanted to take my cart, as opposed to something else, like my left shoe or one of my recyclable earth-friendly super cool billboard grocery bags, which she'd have to fight me for, and she'd lose, because I love those freakin' bags. Love. Them. So. Much. Now that I understood her goal, I sent the cart her way, and said, "Take it."
You'll be happy to know that just moments ago, I decided to stop saying, "I take it," before they take me away. Although, a nice rest wouldn't be so bad. If they do take me away, would you come visit me?
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider at 7:29 AM
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider at 7:34 AM
Monday, March 23, 2015
Tonight you're mine, completely
You hang so well, so neatly
Tonight this dress still zips up in my size
But will you fit me, tomorrow?
Is this a lasting treasure?
Or just for Goodwill's pleasure?
Can I believe this vest once made me sigh
Will I still wear it tomorrow?
Tonight with words unspoken
You say that you're the only jeans
But will my heart be broken
When my waist no longer looks lean?
I'd like to know that your sizeIs one I can be sure of
So tell me now and I won't ask again
Will you still fit me tomorrow?
(apologies to Carole King)
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider at 8:09 AM
Sunday, March 22, 2015
In my dreams, I'm always running late.
In my life, I'm always on time.
Well. Almost always.
Sometimes there are roadblocks.
To arrive at my destination,
I need to get out of my own way.
And remember that wherever I go,
Timing is everything.
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider at 8:32 AM
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider at 8:11 AM