Monday, August 22, 2016
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider at 10:38 AM
Sunday, August 21, 2016
The Museum of Contemporary Food. Also known as Ralphs in
Santa Barbara. So what if the SJG mistook a market for a museum? What's your point?
I could blame the mix-up on the wine.
I could blame it on this inflatable reclining Buddha,
but he looks too serene.
I could blame this non-communicative window washer,
who wouldn't answer me when I asked, "Hey, mister, where's the
Museum of Contemporary Art?"
I certainly can't blame hubby, who took me to Santa Barbara
to celebrate our 36th anniversary. Blaming is never healthy
in a long-lasting marriage. Trust me on this.
After much reflection, I've decided to blame it on the bossa nova,
which I'll be dancing tonight, in celebration of the end of the Olympics.
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider at 3:49 PM
Friday, August 19, 2016
Here's what back to school meant for the little nervous school boys. The eldest starting preschool. That didn't go well. He hung on to my leg until the teacher had to pry him off. He screamed hysterically as I left. I cried all the way home. The eldest starting kindergarten. That didn't go well, either. I had to drag him out of the car and force him into the classroom, while he screamed hysterically and swore at me. I cried all the way home. Who do you think taught him those words, anyway? The Mother of the Year Committee ignored me that year, too. The youngest at preschool. That didn't go well. A bad case of separation anxiety. On my end. The youngest starting kindergarten. That didn't go well, either. For an entire year. I let him wear sweatpants and a hockey jersey every day. One more fight over what he was going to wear and I would've been carted off somewhere. Where, I can't tell you. But I might still be there. Every year, for years and years, another Back to School nervous tummy. Another visit to Staples for school supplies. And then, the inevitable readjustment. Okay, gang. We're back. We're in school again. Let's make the best of it. We're all in this together.
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider at 8:16 AM
Thursday, August 18, 2016
The soft-spoken Canadian mensch
"You mean to tell me I was mugged while I was sleeping?"
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider at 8:11 AM
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
2. The universe is tired of expanding.
3. I'm thinking I might eat some toast.
4. Then, again, maybe a bialy.
5. I'm feeling bad about my lawn again.
6. Congress is poised to scrutinize the SJG, as details of another career mishap are made public.
7. Why the "new you" isn't any better than the "old you."
8. The SJG will represent herself today at Gelson's.
9. It'll be the SJG versus the SJG in the SJG Olympic Impatience Finals.
10. I may take a nap later.
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider at 8:04 AM