Ding, Ding, Ding

     Shofar, You Have 18 Text Messages

All day long, we hear ding, ding, ding.  Upstairs, downstairs:  Ding, ding, ding.  This tells us that the youngest has just received a new text message.  Ding, ding, ding.  Here comes another one.  It drives us somewhat insane.  "Turn it off!"  "Turn it down!"  "Put it on vibrate."  He does none of the above.  Last night, as we watch a rerun of a rerun, three of us take a vote.  We can't take another ding, ding, ding.  The eldest feels particularly adamant.  "@#$% that ding!"  The youngest smiles.  "You want me to change it?"  "We want you to make it stop." He starts fiddling around, and a minute later, instead of ding, ding, ding, we get this:  Aooooga!  Aoooga!  Aooga!  Gevalt.  That's much worse than ding, ding, ding.  He fiddles around more, just to eff with us.  With each text alert comes new aggravation.  Ding dong.  Ting ting.  Drip, drip.  Beep, beep.  Buzzzzz, buzzzzz.  Boing, boing.  Tick tock, tick tock.  "How about something nice, a little intrusive, like a shofar?" I suggest.  Sadly, a shofar text alert doesn't exist.  But in my opinion, it should.  Hmm.  Maybe in time for the High Holidays?  Ca-ching!