Animal Attraction

A while back, my neighbor Cheryl and I were out in the 'hood, walking our identical labs Scout and Dusty.  Since the moment they met, our dogs have only had eyes for each other.  The way they sniff each other's tushies brings courtship to a whole new level.  So, as we walked along that day, our dogs cozying up like an old married couple, we noticed a third party in our midst.  Behind us, a car slowed down to get a closer look at two hot ladies, engaged in pithy conversation.  Our natural beauty and grace, our stylish strutting, our runway-worthy street attire, well, clearly, it was too much for the dude.  How could he not slow down and take in our magnificence?  Seriously.  What sane man wouldn't do the same, under the circumstances?
"Cheryl, oh sh*t, he's parked his car."  "What a perv.  Keep walking."  "He's getting out of the car.  What should we do?"  "Relax.  Scout and Dusty will protect us."  "I should've brought my pepper spray."  "Excuse me?" he said.  We turned around and looked at him.  Our highly-trained bodyguards, Scout and Dusty, paid no attention.  They went about their business, peeing here and there, oblivious to the stranger.  "Are those labs?" he asked.  Cheryl and I looked at each other.  "Uh-huh," I said.  "I had a lab growing up," he told us.  "Really?" Cheryl said, as if she cared.  "Would it be okay if I petted them?" By "them," we assumed he meant our dogs.  Sure, knock yourself out, we said, and he lavished buckets of love on Dusty and Scout.  "Pretty doggy.  Nice doggy.  Who's the best doggy?"  Yeah, yeah, whatever.  Dusty and Scout quickly lost interest when he failed to produce a treat. "Thanks for letting me spend time with them," he said.  By "them," we assumed he meant our dogs. "It made my day."  We watched him drive away, glad to be rid of him.  "This is how you know you're past your expiration date," I said. "When a man slows down to look at your dog."  "It's a sad day for me," Cheryl said.  "I hear ya, gal.  The hurt runs deep."