Step Away From The Chocolate

Step away from the chocolate, SJG.  So what if it's sitting there, all pretty, in a big seductive bowl by the front door, whispering naughty things, taunting you:  "SJG... SJG...  Unwrap me...  Take a bite... I dare ya."  Gobble too many M&M's, peanut or plain, what's the diff, and you know the results, girlfriend.  Scarf down another Reeses Peanut Butter anything, and Monday morning, the city council will have to approve an expansion plan in the region of your tush.  Don't do it.  Fight it.  Be strong.  (But it's so delish.)  You don't need that candy.  (But I do.)  You're better than that Kit Kat Bar.  (No, I'm not.)  You're Good n' Plenty without a Hershey's Kiss. (Oh, shut it.)  This Halloween will be different.  The college boy won't be bringing home a pillow case full of sinful treats.  The recently-employed will be handing out candy, whether he likes it or not.  This Halloween is a new beginning.  Step away from the chocolate.  Step your ass far away.  The next town over ought to do it.  The next county.  The next universe.  Candy is evil.  Remember that.  Say it with me now, people.  Candy is... oh never mind.  You heard me the first time.