Holiday Cheer

Give a little something, bitch.

The holiday cards are starting to trickle in, offering good cheer and plenty of guilt. 
-- "Happy Holidays, SJG.  Don't forget your L.A. Times delivery person needs to eat, too.  He's still nibbling on that stale donut you gave him last year.  Maybe this year, you can spring for a dozen, if it's not too much freakin' trouble, your Shortness.  Thanks for nothing, the L.A. Times."
-- "Arrowhead Wishes Health and Happiness, Plus A Nice Helping of Mazel, to the SJG. Don't forget, Estabon sprained his back lifting all those heavy bottles you made him line up in astrological order in your garage.  A little something to help pay for his physical therapy couldn't hurt.  We Don't Forgive You, Your Friends at Arrowhead."
-- "Happy Belated Hanukkah, SJG, from the party boys who used to hang next door, until you got us kicked out just so you could sleep.  We're living on the street now, and we're pissed.  Send money, a sh*tload of it, care of that park bench on the north corner of Van Nuys-Sherman Oaks Park.  It's the one Dusty always pees on.  We know where you live, the Party Boys.  P.S. Eff you.