Resort-Like Living

Welcome to the building, boys.

Yesterday, I spent all freakin' day on the apartment hunt.  If that's not love, not to mention a deep-seated need to reclaim a little privacy, what is?  Turns out, I'm so good at this real estate stuff.  I found the eldest and his roomie a great apartment nearby and they actually loved it, unlike the other 82 places I found, which they hated for various picky reasons.  Kina hora, if the planets align and the checks clear, they'll be moving in by the end of the month.  Check out the description.  I'm tempted to move there myself.

"Nudnik Park offers residents distinctive studio, one and two bedroom floor plans to choose from. Built with your comfort and convenience in mind, our creatively detailed residences are sure to please and inspire. Apartment amenities include a kitchen equipped with dishwasher and garbage disposal, wall-to-wall carpeting, vertical blinds, a private balcony or patio and more! Become a resident and take advantage of all the recreational amenities and services that we offer. Community amenities include beautiful landscaping, a sparking swimming pool, a state-of-the-art fitness center, gated access, covered parking, on-site and on-call maintenance, a picnic area with barbecue and a private clubhouse and business center! Nudnik Park offers everything you want and more! Visit us today and see why Nudnik Park is the perfect place to call home."

This morning, I woke up feeling so good about the mitzvah I'd performed on behalf of my son.  Until I got a message from dear friend Steve Lantz, my former editor.  In the early '80s, Steve and I worked together at the illustrious Century City News.  The paper was bankrupt the entire time we were there. We could never deposit a paycheck, because it would bounce.  We had to line up at the bank window and hope there was money to cover the funds.  It was first-come, first-serve.  When Steve had had enough and quit, the SJG chased him into the parking lot and pleaded, "Don't go!"  He went anyway, and I became editor by default.  When I got fed up and left, I had to take the publisher to small claims court to get my last pathetic paycheck.  My brother John dressed up in a suit and served the papers while the publisher gobbled his breakfast at a local coffee shop.  "Warm your cup?  And by the way, you've been served, a-hole!" 

Steve's helpful advice to Billy:  "Warning to eldest: DO NOT take mom with you to find an apartment. I did. Ended up with a one-year lease in a three story apartment complex with a center-courtyard pool, barbecue and musty workout room, wall papered halls... with high pile carpets, ground floor unit, patio,etc., Sizzler and magazine stand down the street; all seemed good as I signed the lease, moved into the new digs and decided to take an evening swim... at the retirement home for Jewish grandmothers... until that first fateful dive into the pool. Surfaced at the other end of the pool to a pod of blue-haired gals with a single-minded question, 'So, you just a bachelor?' Longest one-year residential confinement of my life." 
 
Hmmmph.  I only spotted one blue-haired lady in the Jacuzzi last night as we toured the grounds.  Who knows, maybe she has a nice granddaughter for my boy.