What Was That?!

Shiksa version of the SJG

There I was, sitting at my desk, Sir Blakey by my side, when I heard a door shut upstairs. "Hello?" I said. Silly question. Automatic response, I guess. My heart went thumpity-thump. I was the only one home. I stood at the base of the stairs and looked up, expecting maybe the ghost of Passover past. "Hello?" I called again. No answer. Okay. Just my imagination running away with me. I went back to my desk. A minute later, I heard it again. A door shutting. I looked over at the Royal Rescue Pup for reassurance. Sir Blakey didn't seem too worried, but I knew, like any horror movie I'm too scared to watch, I needed to take action. I needed to go into the dark basement and have a look-see, so you could all scream at me, "Don't go down there, SJG!" Well, relax. I didn't go down there. I don't have a basement. But I did go upstairs, armed with, what else, pepper spray. "Hello? Anybody there? I've got pepper spray! I'm not afraid to use it!" I quickly found the culprits: two open windows on a windy day, rattling stuff, making doors shut, basically, effin' with the SJG.