Easter Tradition

The SJG Easter Bonnet

You may be surprised to learn that the SJG has a special Easter tradition.  No, I don't wear a bonnet, although if they fashioned one out of matzoh, I'd absolutely wear it.  Every Easter, I experience an uncontrollable urge to shop.  Normally, I'm in no hurry to try on clothes.  A three-way mirror, a badly-lit dressing room.  Why would I subject myself to that?  But Easter Sunday feels like the perfect day to hit the stores.  While some folks hunt for pretty painted eggs, why shouldn't I hunt for bargains?  So, I go online and ask this question:  What stores are open today?  And up comes the answer:  You're in luck, SJG!  Everything's open!  Go out and spend!  But every Easter, it's a total misdirect.  I drive around and guess what?  Nothing's open.  It was just a cruel joke.  You'd think after all these failed attempts, I'd get it, but on an annual basis, all I get is amnesia, because in my mind, the stores should be open.  After all, the malls don't put up a sign:  SORRY, BUBBELEH!  CLOSED FOR PASSOVER!  I know, I know.  I should just accept it.  I should stop wondering why, on this day, am I not allowed in Macy's or Bloomies or Banana Republic.  I should give up the dream of shopping on an important holiday, unless, of course, that holiday happens to be Passover, when the mall is open for business, but the last thing I feel like doing is trying on jeans.