Such A Milestone

Only one local news crew showed up at the palatial estate of the SJG early this morning to herald an important milestone. "Frankly, I'm disappointed," the SJG told Shifty Shapiro of SJG-TV. "I thought the turnout would be bigger." "Maybe you didn't threaten enough people," Shifty said. "Good point," the SJG said, holding up a black recyclable receptacle as evidence of her accomplishment. "As of 7:14 a.m., I've now scooped one million bags of poop." "Whose?" Shifty asked. It seemed like a fair question. "The Eccentric Elderly Pup's, of course." "Mazel tov." "Thanks, Shifty. Make sure this is the top story of the broadcast." "Like I have a choice."