A Little Leak

"I gotta say, the wall looked better
before I banged the sh*t outta it."

So, yeah, uh, hi, hi, I'm Marty, the plumber/guest blogger today. I gotta warn ya, folks, I'm better at writing out estimates and plugging up leaks than coming up with whatever this thing is the short lady of the house does daily.  But, uh, I had no choice in the matter. The short lady threw her laptop at my head and said, "You write it, Mister," right after I told her about the leak in the slab and took a mallet to her wall, and said, "It's not gonna be cheap, ma'am." I'm not sure what made her madder, the hole in her wall or the fact that I called her ma'am. Oh, ya know what?  It might've been when I said, "Kiss the bamboo floor goodbye, we gotta jackhammer through this mutha, whatcha gonna do?" That last part really pissed her off, but I gotta say, I don't know what she's so heated about.  She doesn't have any hot water. Ha! Well, she didn't like my crack about the hot water, and she started swearing at me like a truck driver, Christ, the mouth on that one.  And then I told her, hey, I'm not a dry-waller, you gotta find someone to do that and patch up your precious bamboo, too, cuz that's not gonna look good when I get done with it, and at that point, whoa, she really lost it, especially when her husband, nice guy, a lot more reasonable, if you don't mind me sayin', piped in and said, "I know how to dry wall, honey, don't worry," and well... things got really ugly after that. I don't know if she started laughing or crying or screaming, seemed like a combo platter to me, but she sounded cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.  She needed something strong to calm her down, but I don't think they've come up with it yet.  So yeah, uh, this is Marty signing off.  I gotta go find the source of the leak. This could take a while. But it's been fun blogging with ya.