The SJG Hotline

"Hellody!  SJG Hotline.  How can I console you?"
"Hellody, yourself.  I'm very upset.  This is serious."
"Tell me about it."
"What's with Ryan Gosling?"
"He's impossibly hunky.  Although, I heard those abs were painted on."
"You take that back, SJG."
"Fine.  I take it back.  What's your issue with The Gorgeous One?"
"He got someone pregnant."
"So I've heard."
"Eva Something."
"Eva Mendes.  She's lovely."

"Of course, she's lovely.  Would Ryan date a dog?"
"God forbid.  So, what's the problem?"
"It should've been the girl from 'The Notebook.'  Not the girl from... 'Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror..'"
"She was very good in 'Hitch' and 'Training Day.'"
"But she's not the girl from 'The Notebook.'"

"Rachel McAdams.  I heard they didn't get along during the making of that movie.  They yelled and screamed.  He wanted her kicked off the set.  She drove him meshuggie.  They broke up a million times.  Add a babykins into that mix?  Maybe not such a good idea."
"I see your point."
"Feel better now?"
"Maybe a little."
"You're welcome."