Almost Paradise

When the universe, or whatever force your prefer, throws a few curve balls your way; when life smacks you in the tush and wreaks havoc with your pipes, your walls and your floors, and I'm not just speaking metaphorically; when everything swiftly turns to ka-ka before your eyes and you're left asking, "What the eff up with that?" the SJG has discovered a miracle cure to lift you out of your funk. Actually, if I'm being honest, which I try my best to be, it was the eldest's lovely girlfriend who hand-delivered the solution via remote control. "Let's watch 'Bachelor in Paradise,' " she said. As a family unit, we protested, loudly, for just under 30 seconds and then said, "We're in." We couldn't decide which was more shocking: the giddy horror of attractive, liquored-up young men and sobbing, drunken women in scanty bathing suits, humiliating themselves on national TV, or the fact that the eldest recognized many of the cast members from previous seasons of "The Bachelor"and "The Bachelorette." What sort of mother am I that I didn't know he'd become an expert on the oeuvre? In any case, this may be the best of the worst TV I've encountered in a while, and for that, I'm so grateful. I'm not sure I have the stomach to watch any more crap episodes of this terrible show, not that I judge, but two hours served as a fabulous escape from reality.