Marital Maintenance

A model hubby 

If there's one thing I've learned about marriage, approaching 37 years and counting, is that attention must be paid now and then to your partner in parenting, not to mention life, if you want to stay wedded, blissfully. Sure, it's easy to be all "me, me, me," regaling your spouse with thrilling details of your day and forgetting to ask about his. "... and then I went to Gelson's.... the bananas looked good... so I bought some... and then I walked Sir Blakey.... and he went nuts when he saw a cat across the street... Oh, and then I .... honey, is that snoring I hear on the other end?" "Huh? Wha?? No... go on." This is not how you keep a marriage peppy and full of mutual admiration. This is how you bore someone slowly to death. Sometimes you must force yourself to devote ample time to his concerns, too.

Where Jerry Brown met Linda Ronstadt 

First, I prompted a short but meaningful story about his many drunken trips to Lucy's El Adobe back in the ancient '80s. Lucy, you see, just passed away. Her famous pitchers of killer Margaritas did him in. "Remember the time you had to spend the night at work, honey?" "That was after lunch at Lucy's. I was too drunk to drive home." The nostalgia portion of the morning ended as quickly as it began. It was time for a fashion show. Upcoming events include a wedding and a business trip to New York. What sort of wife would I be if I didn't demand a wardrobe review? Soon he was strutting up and down the hall, turning this way, that way, striking a pose. "What do you think?" "Nice. It still fits." "But it has three buttons." "Is that a problem?" "Two buttons are in."

He went back upstairs and returned in a spiffy Ted Baker suit he inherited from a photo shoot, tailored to his needs years ago. "What do you think?" "It fits like a dream." "Wedding?" "Buttons?" "Two." "Wedding." "But it's a little dark." "You'll brighten it with a shirt and tie." Then back upstairs, and a dramatic reveal on the staircase. "Hugo Boss. What do you think? " "Nice. It still fits." "New York?" "You wore it last year." "I've worn it the past two years." "Buttons?" "Two." "Don't you want to switch it up?" "No. I'll wear it again. Nobody gives a sh*t." Spoken like the clothes horse he isn't. Hubby's fashion show was brief, but inspiring. Just between us, I think he needs a new suit.