My hopes start to soar, I've felt this before.
I pick up my phone, a dog with a bone.
I drool, I pant, my Pavlovian chant.
I've got mail, woo hoo! I pray it's from you!
Like a big dope, I tap the envelope.
Expecting to see a message from thee.
Instead what I get says Adopt-A-Pet,
Or Shop It To Me, It's Time For A Spree!
From Kate Hudson's site, a tank top in white.
Amazon Prime selling books about crime.
Hulu and NetFlix, so many new picks.
I just want to scream, it's all a bad dream.
Green Eggs and Ham, I do not like this Spam.
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