Lately, certain "friends" having been flipping off the SJG. I get flipped off at the gym. Even my lovely Laughing At Lifers have started flipping me off during class. "Poor you," one of them said the other day. "I've never liked you," said another. Normally, I would take such vitriol personally. But I've evolved so much, what with all the mindfulness and reality-avoidance exercises, that I recognize and embrace their envy. It's hard not to turn green when I say such things in a snooty, faux British accent as, "When one is invited to a wedding in France, one must go. It would be terribly rude to decline. Skip a party in a castle? I think not. How does one say no to a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?" Rarely do I reach the end the sentence before I get, "Oh, eff you." I get, "Bitch." I get, "Go to hell." All I can do is smile and nod, sympathetically. I've been on the other side. I've said, "Enjoy your safari." I've said, "Four weeks in Spain? Wowza. That's... great." I've said, "You're renting a home in Maui for the entire summer? I'm so.... just... so....so... thrilled for you." So yeah, I get it. Still, I've never flipped anyone off as they board the plane to Japan, Tahiti, Thailand, Costa Rica. I'm above all that bad karma. I wait till they're gone and then I unleash.
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