Dear Short Jewish Gal,
The entire staff of Bring Your Own Booty (BYOB) looks forward to welcoming you for your upcoming procedure. Think of it as more of a spa treatment than an invasive butt probe. After completing your registration and agreeing not to sue us, you'll relax in the comfort of our aesthetically soothing, somewhat funereal waiting room. Soon Zelda The Psychic Nurse will escort you to the Zen Zone, where you'll change into a gossamer gown and share the name of someone you'd like Zelda to contact on the Other Side, in case you should plotz, God forbid, during your "cleanse." Not to worry. Once Zelda zetzes you with a nice intravenous sedative, your fears will drift away like leaves on a stream.
Buh-bye fears
A friendly reminder: No noshing or drinking anything after 9 p.m. the night before. Make sure there's bupkis in your belly. Leave your fancy jewelry at home. At this point, nothing impresses us. Bring cash, lots of it, a check or a credit card to satisfy your financial obligations. You didn't think insurance covers all of this, did you? Most importantly, we encourage you to brush your teeth and shower/bathe before you arrive. We're very sensitive to unpleasant auras, especially Zelda.
Kindly,
Your Friends at BYOB
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