Once Upon A Garden

The SJG in her garden

Once upon a time, I used to water the garden. I used to plant the pretty flowers. I used to make the front yard pretty. I used to make the back yard pretty. With my bare hands and my unmanicured nails, I dug in the dirt. I snipped. I clipped. I dead-headed. I shoveled. I sweated plenty on behalf of the greenery, believe you me. And though I never achieved anything quite like this...

Or God forbid...

This...

I did feel at one with Mother Nature.

But then, a new phobia emerged. Silly me, I'd left a vacancy for a fresh fear to creep in and take a nice big bite of my sanity.  

After the epic untelevised battle of Sir Blakey...

Vs. the Rat...

... and the ensuing Flea/Mosquito Infestation of 2017 that prompted me to nearly scratch myself into oblivion, I thought nothing would ever be quite so awful. I was mistaken.

This summer, a new kind of invader threatened my well-being. The Asian Tiger mosquito became my personal nightmare. This lil sonofabitch brought out the worst of the worst in me, permanently transforming me into... 

... the angriest garden gnome in history.