Injury On Aisle 4

"Are you alright, ma'am?"
"No.  Look at my toe.  It's bleeding."
"What happened?"
"That jar of peanut butter jumped off the shelf and attacked me."
"I wasn't aware that jars of peanut butter could jump."

"Maybe the jar didn't jump.  Maybe the jar fell.  Either way, it shattered and a sliver of glass sliced my big toe.  My pedicure is ruined.  I may never Zumba again."
"I'm sorry."
"Are you really?"
"Yes."
"How sorry?"
"Very."
"I'll take your word for it."
"Would you like to file a report?"
"I'd like a band aid first, before my toe falls off."
"I've never heard of a toe falling off from a sliver of glass."
"There's a first time for everything."
"Would you like me to get the manager?"
"First get me a band aid.  Aisle 6."
"I know what aisle they're on."
"Do you really?"
"Yes.  Would you like one with antibiotic ointment, one that's see-through, one with Winnie the Pooh, one with -- "
"I don't care.  Just hurry up.  My toe is starting to detach."
"Here's a nice Hello Kitty band aid."
"Purr-fect.  See what I did there?"
"Uh huh.  Keep the box.  It's on the house."
"It's the least you can do."
"You still want to file a report?"
"I never said I did."