Reading Material

There must be a New Yorker in there somewhere.

The SJG household always has the finest, most intellectual reading material strategically placed in various locales, should an actual intellectual stop by.  Not that we know any, but just in case, it's nice to be prepared.  Sometimes, however, we slip a bit.  Hence the copy of InTouch, visible on the kitchen counter.  I have no idea how it got there.  I blame hubby.  I came home to find the college boy immersed in Hollywood hearsay, instead of his Statistics book.  "Why are you reading InTouch, my son?"  "It's full of fascinating stories that may help me in the future, Mother."  "How so?"  "They're all cautionary tales.  If I learn from other people's mistakes, there's a good chance I won't wind up like any of the wealthy, lovesick degenerates  oft-depicted in this magazine."  "How perceptive of you, my son."  "Thank you, Mother. Did you know that Lamar Odom blames the Kardashians for all his problems?" "Colored me shocked." "And see this Norwegian woman in the photo?"  "My, she's quite the looker." "She says she auditioned to be Tom Cruise's wife." "Did you know I auditioned to be your mother?" "No, I didn't, Mother." "It's true.  I had several callbacks.  I really had to fight hard for this part."  "Tell me more, Mother.""I had to dance and sing, perform a back flip off a moving car, and make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in under 30 seconds." "I'm so glad you got the job, Mother."  "Me, too.  It's the role of a lifetime.  I've been playing your mother since 1991." "And you haven't aged at all, Mother."  "Thank you for noticing, my son."  "You're welcome.  Now, where's that PB&J?" "Coming right up, my son.  Coming right up."