Denial App Upgrade Now Available

Just in time for the Apocalypse, the SJG announces an exciting upgrade on the SJG Original Denial App. One touch and here's what you get: Along with an unconscious defense mechanism that helps you avoid emotional conflict and anxiety, and the chance to bury all those unpleasant thoughts, feelings, desires, impulses, or facts you find intolerable, you also achieve Blissful Global Ignorance. Whatever's happening in the world can't hurt you! Thanks to the upgraded SJG Denial App, you're living in the State of Denial, population 66 million and growing. Just remember, none of what you saw on Friday is real! If you don't acknowledge it happened, guess what? It didn't! It's all just make-believe. Would the SJG lie to you? Only if it helps ease the pain. The SJG Denial App: only $1.99 for the next four years. Believe me, people. This is the only app you'll ever need. Enjoy! And, as always, you're welcome!

Exactly.