When Brothers Cook Together

When the sons collaborate on an apartment-cooked meal, a group text with the parents follows shortly thereafter, complete with video attachments and insults.

"Scott just obliterated a simple chicken dish. It will forever be classified as a sodium bomb."
"We'll have to go over some basics, honey."
"Or whatever comes before basics."
"And whatever comes before that."
"Shut up, Bill!"
"Just remember, less is more. A pinch of salt is all that's needed."
"I was following the recipe."
"Read me all recipes before attempting, honey."
"Bill, you could've helped him."
"I was distracted with work. And he entered the kitchen confident."
"Okay, he'll get there with more practice."
"Next time, honey, not so much seasoning."
"My potatoes were a hit."
"Eff your potatoes, Bill!"