The Only Super Glue You'll Ever Need

(Sherman Oaks) Hey. Are you worried that the world as we know it is rapidly falling apart? Well, fret no more. The SJG's team of really smart people would like to introduce you to a specially engineered formula that will hold all those pesky, fraying global seams together, even during the harshest conditions! SJG Super Jew Glue is a fast bonding, super strength, instantly gooey form of magic that peacefully bonds all nations together like you wouldn't believe. It's air-tight, stupidity-retardant, temperature-resistant and can withstand the current head winds of hot blustery air kicking up, tornado-style, over the D.C. area and spreading recklessly throughout the land. Don't panic. SJG Super Jew Glue can take it. It's tougher than tough and non-allergenic. Promise! Oh, and guess what? This miracle game changer comes with a super cute bonus applicator that, when used correctly, helps prevent the destruction of the planet! Still not sold? SJG Super Jew Glue comes in fast-acting, super adhesive liquid or gel, for your convenience. When delivered through proper diplomatic channels, SJG Super Jew Glue can save us all. So. Get your orders in immediately. Who knows how long supplies, not to mention the world as we know it, will last. You're welcome!