Kugel Yourself, I Dare Ya

Hey, there, you with the sleep in your eyes. Have you tried out the new search engine everyone's yakking about? It's called Kugel. Kugel is so much better than Google, you have no idea. Kugel only finds the Jewishness in your bio. Kugel yourself, and oy vey, up comes your Hebrew school evaluation from 1969: "Talks too much in English. Can't say her Alef-Bet to save her tush. Debating whether to expel."

Kugel yourself, and oy vey, up comes all the aggravation you caused your parents: "In 1975, she dented her mother's Pontiac for the third time." "In 1976, she came home too late, to find her parents sitting shiva."

Kugel. Powered by guilt, and there's plenty more where that came from, believe me. So go on, Kugel yourself. I dare ya. But I'm warning you. You might not like what you find.