Don't Be A Doormat Day

Well, it's taken me, your humble SJG, pretty much a lifetime not to be a doormat, not to let people walk all over me and take advantage of my sweet, people-pleasing nature. Fine, not everyone in my family would agree with this assessment. But you know me best. You, and all my shrinks.

I've been a card-carrying people-pleaser since birth. Once I popped out and landed in the backseat of my daddy's Oldsmobile, the one, the only Mr. Ben Starr started instilling this message: "Don't be a sheep, be a leader." He said it, like, a lot. It was his Numero Uno Commandment. To which I'd reply, "Baaaaaaaaaaah!" I'm fairly sure, based on nothing but gut instinct, and the fact that no one in my family, other than my brother John, ever kept a scrapbook, "Baaaahhh!" was my first word. All that talk about sheep made me love sheep even more. Sheep were adorable. Sheep were everywhere. On my jammies and onesies and in my picture books. Sorry, Daddy, but in those days, the part about not being a sheep just didn't resonate. It was, how they say, a "mixed signal." You're telling me not to be a warm, fuzzy, cuddly sheep? Better I should be a punitive, megalomaniac, narcissistic leader? What kind of nonsense is that? Sadly, his well-meaning advice meant bupkis to me for a very long time.

Oh! That's what you mean!

Until one day, it meant plenty. One day, the whole "don't be a sheep, be a leader" mantra hit home, like Moses smashing his tablets right across my keppy. Ouch. Oh. Now I get it. Maybe it was after I got fired for meekly asserting myself in my early 20s. Maybe it was after I became editor of a local newspaper and had to battle to get paid. Maybe it was after I translated my dad's "don't be a follower" motto into something I could wrap my brain around: "Don't eff with me." With each decade, that's the theme I've tried to embrace, with varying degrees of success. Sometimes, I admit, I've gone overboard with the enthusiasm. Ironically, the need to kick ass really took hold after my dad passed away and I had to handle so much without his wisdom and strength to guide me. So, I guess what I'm trying to say today is this: You can be a mensch with a kind spirit, and still tell people to go @#$% themselves when needed.

RIP Stan Lee, creator of the greatest 

kick-ass female characters of all time.