You Don't Have To Be Chewish

"Tell Daddy what you want for Hanukkah."
"Hanukkah?"
"It's how Jews celebrate the miracle of shopping."
"I want a squirrel."
"What kind?
"Alive."
"Would you settle for lifelike?"

"It depends."
"On what?"
"Does it run around the yard?"
"No."
"Does it scamper up trees?"
"No."
"Does it dig holes and stuff?"
"No."
"Then what's the point?"
"It's plush and cuddly and a real Cyber Monday steal."
"What do I care about Cyber Monday? I want the real deal."
"You wanna talk deals? If I order in the next two minutes, you get Flopsie Moose and Chester Nut Squirrel for only $18.99."

"Big deal."
"They'll even throw in Schmoopsie Couture Happy Hanukkah Dog Collar for four bucks."
"I thought you knew me."
"And... a singing dreidel. Perfect for the Chewish Dog."
"I'm going outside."
"Order now and it arrives tomorrow."
"Hanukkah blows."