Guilt, Schmilt

Here's a random question. Guess who's been regaling you with silliness for a decade? I'll give you a minute. I know it's the end of the year, you're tired and it's hard to gather your thoughts. I mean, seriously, it's enough already with 2019, am I right, what with the global turmoil, the domestic turmoil, the all-round, unrelenting general chaos that greets us daily. I get it. Given all this kaka, I'll tell you the answer because I don't want you should suffer in any way that might hurt your overburdened keppy. It's me, your SJG. Ten years, I've been doing this. This year, I admit, I slacked off a bit. I gave you 48 less blogs than last year, igniting some anger in Gelson's, my personal homeland, that sadly, no one recorded, or maybe it would've gone viral, which just between us, is on my bucket list, so you'll just have to trust me that what I'm sharing is more-or-less accurate:

The general manager: "So, nu, SJG? You barely mentioned us this year."
"What the eff? Eleven times, I mentioned you. Well, not you, specifically, but the market. That's plenty."
"In 2018, you mentioned us more."
"Such guilt from a guy who dusts the bread aisle."
"If I don't, who will?"
"I gotta go."
"Fine, go."
"Listen, I'll do better next year."
"I won't hold my breath."

The butcher: "So, SJG, nothing about the brisket you served on Passover being tender as the night?"
"Say what now?"
"Remember how I spent two hours with you, selecting the best cut for your personal needs?"
"Two hours?"
"Maybe it was 10 minutes, but it felt like two."
"It was delish. Everyone raved."
"Whatever."
"Listen, I'll do better next year."
"I won't hold my breath."

The baker: "Hey, SJG, I noticed not much kvelling over the bakery in your blog this year. What are we, chopped liver? You bought so many princess cakes, we ran out of marzipan. And cookies, cookies, cookies. Rugelach. Bagels. Danish. But don't feel too bad, we get enough praise from our better customers."
"Better customers? We took out a second mortgage to pay our Gelson's bills."
"Ha ha ha. Really?"
"Maybe."
"A nod now and then would've been good."
"Listen, I'll do better next year."
"I won't hold my breath.

The candlestick maker in back of the store: "Hey, SJG.  Thanks for bupkis in the blog."
"You're welcome."