Put This On

Q: What is a Jewish sweater?
A: It's what a Jewish child wears when his mother is cold.

Little Paul says to his father, "Daddy, Daddy, I want to get married."
His father says, "For that son, you have to have a girlfriend."
Paul says, "But I've found a girl."
"Who?"
"Grandma."
"Let me get this straight. You want to marry my mother? You can't do that."
"Well, why not? You married mine."

Becky was very rich. One day she phoned a famous young artist and said she wanted to commission him to paint her. He said his fee would be $10,000, and she immediately accepted. When she arrived at his studio for the first sitting, she gave him a check for $12,000. The artist was very surprised and asked what the extra money was for.
“I want you to paint me in the nude,” she said. “Do you have any objections?”
“Not for $12,000, I don’t. But I would have to keep my socks on. I need somewhere to put my brushes.”
http://awordinyoureye.com