You Must Remember This

"Tell me again so I don't forget." 

These days, the memory is a bit iffy. There's just too much to keep track of before the expectant parents move into a very old, but incredibly charming house that needs a lot of love, what with all the people coming and going to fix things, change things, make things better. The only way the rapidly aging enablers, that would be longtime hubby and myself, can keep things straight is to communicate as only we know how:

"Honey?"
"Yes, my devoted first wife of 40 years?"
"Not to correct you, darling, but..."
"That's never stopped you before."
"It's 39.5 years."
"Shouldn't we round it up to 40, dearest?"

"Let's not. That will only confuse me."
"Very well. In any event, what were you going to say? And can you say it, swiftly? I don't wish to be late for my job. The network falls apart without me."
"I was going to remind you to do something very important."
"You've got my full attention."
"Do I?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Because you're looking at your phone."
"I can pay attention and look at my phone."
"That's hilarious."
"I'm putting the phone down."
"I was going to remind you to... oh, dear God in heaven, I can't eff'n remember what the eff I was going to remind you to do."
"Well, when you remember, text me."
"If I text you, will you actually read it?"
"Don't I always?"
"Only when I remind you to read it."
"Then call me first, remind me to read it, and I shall do so, immediately."
"Excellent plan, honey."
"Kiss kiss, see you later."
"Not if I see you first."