Queen Asks SJG To Solve "Megxit"

The Queen's big announcement from Buckingham Palace today went something like this, more or less: "After lengthy discussions regarding the Harry-Meghan royal exodus, we realized only one person could help us negotiate this rather awkward situation, and that is the Short Jewish Gal. You may or may not recall that she helped smooth things over when William and Kate, after repeated viewings of 'Fiddler on the Roof,' decided to convert to Judaism before their nuptials. We didn't see that one coming, I can assure you. The SJG graciously acted as their personal maven, teaching them how to dance the hora, speak Yiddish and say oy vey without ever losing their royal demeanor. Which brings us to our current dilemma. When the SJG reminded me via Royal Face Time of her deep personal connection with Meghan, having written 'When Sparks Fly,' that delightful Hallmark movie she starred in, and offered to help us sort out this epic shanda, how could I, in good conscience, decline? If anyone can end Megxit, it's the SJG. After all, she's been dealing with estranged relatives since the tender age of 12. As she told me just this morning, 'There's nothing a nice round of Hava Nagila can't solve.' Even better, she wants nothing in return other than unconditional, endless, daily praise and an invitation to tea. Sounds jolly good to me, don't you agree?"