Adventures In Car Leasing

Engine not included

Labor Day weekend, I accompanied hubby and the eldest into the hell of car leasing.  It was time to trade in the 12-year-old Volvo for something befitting the young college grad, as he heads off for his first real job, the one we think he got (kina hora), but we're still not sure.  In the meantime, he needs a car that gets him from point A to B (hip Hollywood bar to hip Hollywood nightclub) without leaving an oil spill in its wake.  Our car lease demands were few.  We're reasonable people, and when I say reasonable, I'm referring to the SJG and the first born.  Hubby, on the other hand, is a total maniac when it comes to negotiating.  He works in TV.  Playing hardball is his strength.
Here are some of the highlights from our adventure.  Big surprise.  Hubby did all the talking:  "Every car on the lot should be a special.  You're not selling that many of them." "Stop playing games.""Forget this bait and switch with the low teaser." "If the base model costs this much, and the one we want costs this much, we're only discussing the difference in price between the two, nothing else." "I want your rock bottom price, including tax." "We'll sleep on it."  At this critical juncture, the saleman started to weep.  "You know, you're not that big, but you're very intimidating."  "Rock bottom," hubby repeated.  The poor car salesman crawled away, in search of alcohol.  "I need a minute," he said.  The eldest looked across the table.  "Dad, you're really being a prick."  Hubby laughed.  "I know, isn't it great?"  It only took four hours, but in the end, we drove away with the newly-leased babe magnet, and could feel it depreciating with every block.  As we headed down Van Nuys Blvd., I said,"Remind me never to do that again." Of course, I said the same thing after giving birth to the eldest, and four years later, I was back for more fun.  Maybe next time we lease a car, I'll get an epidural first.