Mazel Tov, Mamasox

Mama gets married

When I first heard Mamasox was getting married, the SJG brain went into overdrive, as it tends to do.  I immediately thought, oy vey, she's giving up on her career!  The Idol tour was a bomb.  She's getting zero airplay at the moment.  So why not marry that big lug Tony, the dude who didn't dig the lifestyle, the guy she split with on the day of the Idol finale. 
But then I thought, don't marry Tony.  With those brand new pearly whites, you can do better than that goofball.  Not that I judge.  But come on!  Your album hasn't even dropped.  Be patient, girlfriend.  And then it became painfully clear that the SJG brain needed more info.  I was jumping to all sorts of conclusions.  So I had my people call People, and they told me what's up. "You've got it wrong, SJG.  Chillax, why don't you?  Crystal's heating up, not cooling down."  "Oh, thank God."  "She's way too sharp to marry that big lug Tony.  She's engaged to some musician dude named Brian Walker.  They plan to tie the knot next month."  I let the good news roll around the SJG brain.  "What's Tony's take on the situation?"  "Honestly, we don't give a sh*t."  "But you're People."  "What's your point?"  "I feel sad for the big lug."  "Get over it."  Click.