So Pick Me! Choose Me! Love Me!

Oh, please?

It's creepy and it's kooky, mysterious and spooky, and altogether ooky, to visit my haunted house of documents.  I never know what files I'm going to find rattling around in there, waiting to be deleted or saved before my computer crashes.  Only moments ago, I tripped over a wacky list of chapter ideas, in case my unsold bestseller, "I Felt Good About My Butt Back Then," went into its eighth printing, and my fans demanded a sequel to read on the potty.  Just 'cause it didn't happen doesn't mean I should stop being a 'ho for attention.
That said, I invite you, exclusively, to put on your evening wear, your Armani, your Chanel, your Target specials, and select one of the following topics for me to write about in an upcoming blog.  The winner will receive name recognition, a star on my personal walk of fame (located somewhere near my frontal lobe) and a new reason to get up in the morning.  What, you thought I'd give money? 

Here are the top ten.  So pick one.  Choose one.  Love one:
1. "Door-Slamming: A Guide to Parenting"
2. "Daddy Gets Kicked Off the Soccer Field"
3. "How To Breastfeed a Room Full of Male TV Execs"
4. "Don’t Stand So Close To Me At the Gym"
5. "Mom Gets Banned From Denny’s"
6. "The Day The Earth Shook During Billy’s Bar Mitzvah"
7. "Earache in Seattle"
8. "Snoring Wars"
9. "Bodily Functions We Can't Live Without"
10. "I Know You Are, But What Am I?"

Tally:  1 vote each for #2, 3, 5 and 6.  Come on, people, let's get those numbers up.  I need a tie-breaker.