Dear SJG

BYOT:  Bring Your Own Turkey

Dear SJG,
It's my turn to have Thanksgiving at my palatial retreat.   Two years ago, hubby's aunt took a big fat tumble and blamed it on an innocent folding chair. Is it tacky to post a sign at the door that says, "Management Not Responsible for Your Klutziness"?
Thanks,
Lawsuit Pending

Dear Lawsuit,
It would be tacky if you didn't post the sign.  As an extra precaution, you should force your guests to sign a waiver before entering.  You can never be too careful when allowing relatives to roam freely through your elegantly-appointed home.  You never know what sort of trouble these people might get into. 
You're welcome,
SJG

Dear SJG,
My 89-year-old father asked what he could bring for Thanksgiving.  I told him, "Two turkeys, homemade cranberry sauce, cream spinach, a platter of noshies and four desserts, nothing too fancy.  He started laughing and hung up.  Should I call him back, or wait for him to show up with the food?
Thanks,
Lazy in Sherman Oaks

Dear Lazy,
You'll be waiting a long time. 
You're welcome,
SJG