Where's The SJG?

Early Socialization, 1962:  Find the SJG

Somewhere in this photo, sits the young and innocent SJG.  Which little girl am I? The one with the curly mop and terrified look?  The one whose smile says, "Bitch in training"?  The one with the headband and sour punim?  One hint:  I'm not in the first row.  Don't those boys look like they're up to something, and whatever it is, can't be good?  Back in '62, before nursery school got a name change and became pre-school, those little troublemakers, those pint-sized putzes set off major hysteria in the Starr house.  "We hate to alarm you," the head of the school told my poor mom over the phone, "but Carol is missing."  "Oh, gee, is that all?  I'm sure you'll find her.  She loves to play hide and seek.  See ya at noon."  This is not what my mother said.  She probably said, "Oh my God, oh dear God, oy veysmere," then hopped in the car and sped down the canyon.  By the time she arrived, joined by other panic-stricken moms who'd gotten the same call, the crack security team had already located the four missing girls.  We'd been locked in the playhouse on the yard.  That's right.  The yard.  The guilty party:  the boys in the front row.  To find me, just look for the little girl who wants to say, "Rot in hell, you sick little bastards," but hasn't quite developed the vocabulary.  That's me. (Second row, far right, Audrey Hepburn 'do, in pants and striped shirt.)